Since I’ve been single, I have been consistently disgusted at the audacity of men who want to get laid and/or get attention from me.

Please, for the love of God, I am a HUMAN BEING. Just because I may like casual sex occasionally, does NOT mean that I won’t be discerning in who I pick to have sex with. Being sexually healthy means being able to say “yes” when I want to and “no” when it’s appropriate. When I say “no”, this is not an invitation to ask again in a different way. This is an opportunity to treat me like a human being and respect my autonomy.

And for those guys who want to just message and say “what’s up?”, that’s totally cool, but don’t be surprised if I don’t reply. It’s not that anything is wrong with you. It’s just that I don’t want to waste my time in endless, meaningless dialogue. If you want to know a little secret, try asking me a question about something I wrote or a picture I posted. Ask me about my favorite book, or what kind of video games I like to play. Treating me like an actual person who you want to have a conversation with seriously increases your chance for a response.

Oh and by the way, I hate that I have to clarify this, but in the event that I DO respond to you, this DOES NOT mean we’re going to hang out, and it certainly doesn’t mean we’re going to have sex. It means I have responded, and you can commence with the conversation. If what you need is merely to get off, then may I suggest masturbation and some good porn?

If it is sex you desire, can you explore that a bit first? Is it really just sex? Or is it real, genuine human connection? Is it conversation? Maybe someone to listen? Maybe you just need to be touched. Maybe you need a friend. Sex is a quick fix, but it’s not a permanent remedy for what really ails you. Sex can heal those broken layers, but you have to be willing to admit it first.

Guys, men, boys, please hear me. We love you. We need you. We need you to wake up. We need you to be present. We sure do spend a lot of time talking about how women matter and how as women, we are coming into our own. This doesn’t mean we forget about you. No, on the contrary, all of humanity is waiting for you to stand up and take your roles. I know it’s scary because we’ve kind of taken our feminine power back in the last few decades. I know you may feel a little diminished. But realize that your masculinity is exalted in this distinction with our awesome feminine glory. We complement one another. We need each other. Please, boys, I’m begging you. Wake the fuck up.

Comic by Matt Northup

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